Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What do all Indian parents have in common?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What does the Bible say about the Antichrist? How will we know when he arrives on the scene?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why do older siblings always hate younger siblings?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why are Korean female leads so angry all the time?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t cotton to rapists

Can the existence of past lives be proven without the use of hypnosis or a pendulum to inquire about previous incarnations?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

8 signs you're mentally stronger than 95% of people, according to psychology - VegOut

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Does having the wrong address on my car insurance invalidate my policy?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Is it wise to SECRETLY expose a narcissist by telling others that he/she is a covert narcissist?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why don’t Jews regard Jesus as an important teacher or rabbi, if not the Messiah? Putting aside messianic claims, wouldn’t Jesus be one of the most significant Jewish teachers in human history?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

With so much evidence supporting the flat Earth theory, why aren't more resources dedicated to studying it?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane